The Camera Will Always Love Joakim Noah [Duan!]
6 hours ago
Friday, July 30, 2010
Friday, April 30, 2010
The Creation of Jack Swarbrick: Secrets Revealed
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Anatomy of an offensive SI Cover
If you haven't seen it yet, the recent Sports Illustrated cover created quite a stir by featuring Lindsay Vonn in a "suggestive" position. Really, there isn't much offensive about this photo. Yes, she is bent over and wearing tight clothes. However, skiers also compete bent over and wearing tight clothes. However, with a few more components SI could have really achieved an ideal offensive cover. See the below before/after:
Before:
Before:
After:
With the simple addition of a sexually agressive Tiger Woods, Rush Limbaugh giving him the thumbs up and a tiny facial stick on Tattoo of David Duke SI could have really scored a much more offensive cover.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Signing Day Special: The 350 Pound Club
While Seantrel Henderson may grab all the headlines as a giant recruit with NFL hips. We are proud to showcase these 4 members of the NCAA Signing Day All 350 lb Team. Congrats to these big uglies.
Jose Jose (UCF) - Also a member of ESPN's all name team. Jose Jose clearly took Pizza, Pizza literally.
Jose Jose (UCF) - Also a member of ESPN's all name team. Jose Jose clearly took Pizza, Pizza literally.
Raynard Randolph (NC State)
James Carmon (Miss State)
Robert Griffin (Baylor)
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Tiger Woods lookalike revealed!
Friday, January 1, 2010
Tiger Woods had sex with Greg Gross: Text Message Exclusive!
Let's see this slut collect 46 career triples.
He doesn't fit the profile of a typical Woods gal. Gross sports a mustache, Charles Lindbergh 1920s aviator glasses, and a wistful stare filled with longing and heartbreak that could only be properly captured by a German word. Maybe it was this air of mystery that drew Tiger the once semi-famous Philadelphia Phillies pinch hitter. Maybe it was this gorgeous 1989 Topps photo that first aroused the golfer. Whatever the reason, Woods fucked Gross at least 14 times and we at the 5second40 have exclusive access to a made-up transcript of text messages sent between the two lovers.
TigerWoods: Yo, G. Meet me in the bathroom at Perkins. Bring ur old school pinstriped uni.
GregGross: Can we order some food first? I've been sitting in my hometown of York, PA thinking about all 44 times I was caught stealing in my career. I'm exhaused! LOL.
TigerWoods: What about the time u successfully stole my heart?
GregWoods: I batted .143 for my career in the postseason.
TigerWoods: That just seems like a non-sequitur. I'm poring my fucking heart out to you right now, and ur just gonna read the back of your baseball card? Answer my pleas for love, Greg Gross!
Greg Woods: Why don't you just bang that porn star tonight instead, you needy little bitch.
Tiger Woods: I love you.
That's all we were able to obtain; a disturbing look into a love life fraught with lies, betrayal, and obscure 80s baseball players. If any of you out there have further pieces of this transcript or other information about 80s baseball players Tiger has boinked, please send your tips to the comments section of this post.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Introducing Nick Cole
After the injury to Jamaal Jackson, Nick Cole is schedule to start at center for the Philadelphia Eagles this week. While Cole is new to the starting position, he is already the NFL's leader in BMI (Body Mass Index). Boasting a "big-boned" 350 lbs to his 6'0" frame his BMI of 47.5 is over 50% more than what is considered obese. Nick Cole is truly a load in the middle.
Check him out below as he tries to make Desean Jackson get in his belly:
Cole may not have the prototype size but he has the incredible ability to juke with his stomach:
Check him out below as he tries to make Desean Jackson get in his belly:
Cole may not have the prototype size but he has the incredible ability to juke with his stomach:
These two pics demonstrate the true versaility of the 350lb man
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